Wed, 3/12/2011

I used to think about "blank canvas fear" all the time

And have it, of course!  There are plenty of ways to work on this such as sketching before hand, coating your canvas in a burnt sienna wash, doing an underpainting and so forth. 

Now, though, I love to start paintings!  I go for thin layers of bold colors, loosely working on an idea of a composition.  It feels GREAT to have started, so I wash up, let it sit over night...and thats where the fear creeps in... 

At this stage, and every layer after the painting looks ok - there are some fun parts to it BUT... will I ruin it?  if I ruin it, will I be able to recreate it???  I have a few paintings that have sat around for years unfinished but, unworked but, nagging at me.  I tell myself that this fear will fade and the more I paint, the less Ill hesitate.

But right now, this is where I am.  And it's also why, when someone asks me to donate or exhibit a painting, I close my eyes and leap.  I could say it's the deadline pushing me forward, but really?  It's my fear of not coming through that is stronger than the fear of the canvas.